Quick Memory Vignettes: Every so often, a memory will register in my mind–a quick glimpse of somewhere special that I have been, and catch me off guard by its poignancy. Lately, without any real impetus for a specific memory, I am remembering experiences like visiting the museum in Seattle. Suddenly, I am back there. I am not certain why this particular part of the day sprouts back in my memory because the rest of the day was much more interesting. The Burke-Gilman bike trail through the city was a demanding one, and we stopped all over the city as we wound through the University of Washington and down to the harbour. And yet, this little museum gift shop jumps out in the foreground.
Another example was that while working this past week, I suddenly found myself reliving a walk along the Freedom Trail in Boston and our walk down to the ferry terminal past the Old South Meeting Hall. Another recollection was of a heli-hike up the Purcell range to the Sunrise Lake Chalet. Instantly, I felt as if I was right there summer-skiing on the glacier snow in my hiking boots. I also found myself reliving a few minutes in the sleeper car down to Luxor in Egypt. It is this quaint little train cabin, and the rattling of the train over the uneven tracks that re-invites itself into my present more than all of other grand landmarks of the area. All of the memories sifting through lately are usually very focussed sound-bites of time, and I am momentarily transformed by the recollection.
Is this normal? Is this something like Alzheimer’s, but in the reverse? Can someone have a problem with remembering things too vividly, and for no particular reason at all? It is somehow fragrant in its effect, as wafts of experience capture my senses and set me back in time and space. I am not certain of the reason for it, and why so noticeably at this time in my life. However, like dreams, if I try to grab onto them too directly, they disappear, and I am left grasping out for them a bit. I have learned instead, to relish in them a bit without thinking too much about why they are appearing. My mind has remembered them clearly, and the vivid ones are those from my travels and childhood.
Simpler Times: I suppose my mind escapes to times where I had the ability to breathe, play, focus and be creative. I did not know at the time of my initial experiences that I would be able to re-trace them in my future with such clarity. These memories reach out and sustain me at times where perhaps I am feeling overwhelmed, and under-stimulated. My mind has decided to entertain me with better experiences telling me to “stop”. “Remember when…” is the dialogue box going on behind the visuals coming back to me. My inner counsellor beckons me to reconsider my present course.
I am meant to be creative, and “do” something with these memories. Perhaps I am meant to write them down so they are not lost. I likely need to capture and transform them into a descriptive narrative that might reach other people who have not had the opportunities to experience these things, or keep them somewhere just for me to pull out of a drawer someday. These ideas are tapping me on the shoulder and I need to listen and to follow to this inner tour guide or counsellor. Many (not all) of these memories include my son, so I don’t think it takes much psycho-analytic brilliance to interpret this as missing his company and cherishing our time together. However, some are not with him, and indicate that there were times where I was able to uncover something valuable in an experience, and it stuck inside of me. The picture albums stay on the shelf, but the visuals are embedded in my head.
Specific Memories This Week:
-Mont Martre in Paris and walking down the hill past a little ancient restaurant where we eventually ate, indulging in food that can never be re-created anywhere else
-Walking adjacent to the Lincoln Memorial Park Reflection Pool, and making my way along the road to the Whitehouse
-Playing soccer as a child, and running with utter abandonment until dark and into the night time with all of my friends from elementary school
-Going to the symphony with my mother and falling asleep in the second half after intermission
-Staying in a little bed and breakfast in Northern Ireland called the Carriage House within a couple of kilometers of my great-grandfather’s homestead
-Waking up in PEI to a snowstorm that had utterly consumed our car. We laughed so hard knowing that we needed to be plowed out of the parking lot of our motel
-Sitting around the wooden stove in my grandmother’s Finnish kitchen. The smells of her cooking in all of its richness still transend time
The Deal: I think the deal we make with ourselves as we go through life is a simple one: Is what I am doing right now worthy of my memory? Some of what we do remember will surprise us, and in the remembering, will tell us what we might likely remember going forward. I suppose the key is to pay attention, relax into our experiences and breathe.
A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. ~Edward de Bono
adventure ahead 